A Voice In My World- Let's Make Sense
"They Steal The Voice Right Out Of Us"... I've been working on the Internet for about 10 years now.. I started out as a novice- a woman who knew nothing about using a computer and even less about the Internet and how it worked. I can honestly say, I don't remember having a driving desire to learn all about how to use a computer nor learning about how to brave the world of socialization among virtual strangers, known only through the use of language- and very little else.
One of the first things I discovered while setting myself to learn about communication on the Internet, was the fact that what was once etiquette and social respect was going out of style- Another fact I was learning, was that the use of the English language was becoming a thing of the past, and Internet jargon and signs and symbols would serve to replace the normal conversations that civilization once knew and held respect for.
At one time, while still trying to learn my way around the Internet, I discovered how beautiful the Internet could be too.. I discovered the beauty of a fabulous website and the wonder of creating a website which portrays the essence of what one want's to convey to another- a website is a wonderful and powerful tool of communicating across the world.. not just in our tiny community, but across the world itself..
In a lot of ways, becoming an internet lover, has served me well.. In other ways, I walk away from my compute scratching my head over the constant effects of the loss of a world I so love and have loved.. The world of proper etiquette and proper use of the language of my birth- and the world of healthy communication- communication that leads to both learning and growth, and decision making. The world of meeting another human being and having come away all the better for meeting and knowing them.. that world has become lost- and it's a world I'm not so willing to walk away from..
I truly feel sorry for the next generation coming into this world, because that generation may never know what it's like to experience friendship and companionship on a very personal level.. above and beyond the blank screen of the computer- and the text message that keeps one looking into the eyes of the cell phone..
Everyone has to make sense of their world, we are human beings and we have a need to understand what is going on around us and why it is going on around us.. we all need an explanation! We, as human beings, need a 'world view' and a sense of belonging in that world- we all need a dream and a plan for our lives and we all need to believe that we are safe in that plan and dream..
I believe it was about June 5, 2010 when in the evening my living room television was on.. I was walking into the kitchen with my coffee cup to pour another cup of delicious coffee with hazelnut creamer, a taste I love to experience. All of a sudden, I heard about a little 7-year old boy who had become missing from his elementary school the day or early evening before.. on June 4, 2010. This little boy's name is Kyron Horman.
The words I heard coming from the news station were words that stung me at heart.. they told us that this little boy's step mother took him to a school science fair and left him there only to discover late that afternoon that the little boy was not on the school bus coming home that day.. they also repeated words such as "Terri Horman was the last person to have seen little Kyron"..
My first thought and lasting thought was to ask Terri Horman where he is.. simple. She was the last to have seen him, so she has to know what happened and where he is! Thinking beyond that didn't occur to me at that time- and it didn't occur to me for a very long time afterwards... I'd, for some reason, listened to this story very intently and was concerned for little Kyron.. as I still am to this day.
When the word got out that Terri Horman was 'hitting the gym' and 'sleeping on clean sheets' all the while her step son in whom she had cared for since infancy was missing, I was utterly and totally in horror! It was beyond comprehension and beyond my ability to keep those kind of reactions or actions in my mind at all.. And, to be honest, even today, writing this blog, I still think and feel the same way.. any woman who could just shrug off this missing child and be so thankful to sleep on clean sheets when your child may be lost or stolen and not sleeping at all or may be sleeping all alone in the wilderness somewhere frightened and alone.. well, that is just plain unthinkable in any language!
I know, I myself sat up late that evening in my recliner looking over to my bed and those very thoughts ran through my mind.. I had never met Terri Horman nor Kyron Horman, but that didn't matter.. the words were right there on Terri's Facebook page and Kyron was gone! Thoughts of my own children at that age ran through my mind. I have 4 children naturally born to me and two step-sons I've raised since 4 and 5 years old.. all of which thank The Lord- slept in their beds every night of their childhood.. and now this little boy, maybe for the first time in his little life, didn't have his bed to lay in and his step mother was 'hitting the gym, and 'sleeping on clean sheets'.. that thought in and of itself was enough to make me curl up inside and forget about the legal system, forget about all of the things American's have fought and died for and forget that Terri Horman was a human being at all.. All I could think of was Kyron Horman out there somewhere, either alone, or with a kidnapper- and that, to me, should have been all Terri Horman was able to think about!
Making sense of this world, made no sense at all- and I could not and can not wrap my heart around such statements- however, what was almost as bad to me, if not as bad, was the first time I was able to watch the first MCSO press conference. At that time.. I saw Kaine Horman for the first time in my life, and I was able to get a look at this woman, who by now I detested, and I saw a man defending her- I saw a man embracing her AND what I believed was a totally hypocritical heart break.. I didn't see a heart broken man at all.. I didn't see a man who could have taken his wife's response to heart- I saw a man who was defending.. and that was about all I could take. By now, I had vowed to myself to let this go- I believed that if I allowed myself to become attached to this situation, it would not help Kyron and it would create anger and frustration for me.
Not because I was looking for it, but, as in the beginning of this saga, my living room television was on again and I witnessed a news reporter approach a red mustang asking a couple if there was anything he could do to help find their son.. that brought Kyron to mind, and I continued to watch to see if this couple could be Kaine and Terri Horman.. it was! Once again, I was livid.. all I could see was a little boy gone and this couple stoutly and with out apparent emotion- slam the car doors shut on this reporter! Slam the doors shut, roll up the windows and begin to drive off.. no word of thanks for covering the issues of a little boy lost- not one word!
In some respects, I blamed the internet for what I saw was a cold and non-involved couple (who really was involved in a very sensitive circumstance-)violating any expectation I would normally have had toward parents of a lost child.. I had discovered that Terri Horman was an avid Internet citizen.. and as such, as described above, I believed the human touch had been stolen, and this couple didn't even know it was gone..
For Links: Go Here
http://www.katu.com/home/video/96172864.html #1
http://www.katu.com/news/local/96033344.html #2
After viewing Link #2, it didn't take long for me to realize, for the Horman's- basically, it was "Life As Usual".. now it wasn't just Terri Horman hitting the gym, it was both Kain and Terri Horman "Hitting The Gym".. I wondered if the two of them realized their little boy was missing and endangered! I wondered if they were somehow "Living In Two Different Worlds".. one of a missing child and one of seemingly "No Change At All"..
MCSO- PRESS CONFERENCES
At about the third time watching the MCSO press conference- I'd made up my mind that somehow the police department was missing a few rocks.. to me it seemed like the lights were on but no one was home. This police department was telling the world that the Hormans and the Youngs were "Standing There As One Family".. and I was in absolute unbelief at hearing that.. I watched Terri Horman clutch Desiree Young- and I watched the response of Desiree Young intently- I watched the tears flow that actually were no tears from Terri all the while she clutched Desiree Young, (Desiree had real tears).. and I saw a man, Kaine, (father of missing Kyron).. loving Terri and embracing her as if there was nothing to be alerted to.. so, my mind ran in different directions, and I thought the police department was hiding and covering up something about this case. They refused to make any real statements that mattered, and they had Terri Horman standing beside a distraught mother as if nothing was wrong with that... boy, I was in a world I didn't think I wanted to be in.. that was certain!
Kyron's Family Will Not Talk For One Week
"We Want To Keep The Focus On Kyron"... a statement released to the public as a reason why his family wished to remain unknown and out of the public eye during the most critical hours and days of Kyron's disappearance. The first few days would be fresh and clean in the minds and hearts of the public and they would be the most valuable opportunity to form a physical link to Kyron-. The public only had photos and news reports of Kyron, they did not know Kyron personally- linking to his mother and father would provide that bridge the public desperately needed-
That opportunity was to be forever lost to the public. The first week of Kyron's disappearance, the critical week, went silent and faceless, it went voiceless, and it went cruelly into the future forever known as "The Lost Moments of Opportunity"- opportunity to bond with the only known living voices and faces of Kyron for those who had up to this time, never before heard of this child- a child thrown into the public awareness under circumstances unwanted by any child- any family!
No Evidence Of Bonding With The Public
Well, by now, one week into the case of Missing Kyron, even two weeks into Kyron's case- we see in videos that a spokesman for the Horman family would be a member of the police department- he would read off questions about Kyron, and read off the answers that had been generated by Kyron's family- a very non-personal involvement and bridge between Kyron and the Public- I had started a private Facebook group by the name of Loving Kyron- it was a group for those members of the public who believed as I did, that Terri Horman was guilty to the bone- and frustrated at Kaine for not seeing it and even more frustrated at LE for not calling her on it. It had become a nightmare in Internet forums to try to post such an opinion- one would get hung for it.. so to say or "Virtually Hung" anyway..
Even worse, it would be an insult to suggest that Kyron's family had missed the boat in any way. Still, I saw no website that would offer a bridge between Kyron and the Public go up on the part of Kyron's family- I saw no official meeting place on the internet where Kyron's family would leave notes and tips and information about Kyron that the public would have loved to hear. I saw no such website on the part of Kyron's family that would help fuel the public's awareness into the disappearance of Kyron and possibly help that fire spread into all states- over all border control areas and even into other countries...this timing would have been prime for getting the word out that anyone could have possibly tried to take Kyron across the border of a state or the country.. Instead I head the police man on the news announce that Kyron's family maintain their normal lifestyle- and I saw videos that told me that was exactly what they were doing.. they were hitting the gym as usual.
I heard the police man say there were no other qualifications that would come into play in the search efforts for Kyron, other than those the LE were conducting themselves.. so, by that, we were denied an official website to go and read first-had information about Kyron posted by his mother or father- we were denied first-hand photo albums of Kyron posted by his family- we did get those things, but they came by way of third-parties or the news stations.. very impersonal and lacking very precious bonding times and opportunities..
The Mobs Form
In the obvious absence of genuine bonding and meaningful information gathering opportunities, human nature takes over in droves- the mobs of public speculation and opinion begin to emerge and take over like wild weeds in what could have been a beautiful garden of ideas and facts that would in no way impede an investigation into this missing little boy. In the absence of meaningful information on the part of LE who repeatedly quoted their favorite saying during almost all press conferences.. "No Comment".. the public begins to form comments of their own! It's a confusion on the part of the public who I felt really wanted to help, but could find no real leadership in which to act in a genuine and sincere way- and the confusion led to frustration, and the frustration led to what I think now is almost madness! People are trying to hang on, but what are they hanging on too? They are holding onto the one fact they have, "There is a little 7-year old boy gone, and no one knows why or where he is.. and these people have not been led into any form of constructive and positive way of adding their personal effort or suggestion..
As a result, posters violate other posters thoughts with cruel and cutting back remarks- posters violate the fundamental freedoms of Americans to free speech and they begin to attack like Piranhas when anyone tries to rationally think for themselves. . . they even threaten people that a law suit may come to them if they post anything other than what is wanted... attacking, threatening, cutting down, character assignations and virtual hangings are now the norm in most forums relating to Kyron Horman- and innocent child who has been thrown into a situation unimaginable and unthinkable by rational-thinking human beings.
Note: At some point, much later than sooner toward this three-month mark into Kyron's disappearance, a "Bring Kyron Home" non-interactive website face page did go up on the part of Kyron's family. This website does give some hints and suggestions into our search for Kyron- There are no slide shows, home video collections, or other interactive collections on this site. , there is a link to "Missing Kyron Facebook Page" with various outside links to fundraisers etc. There is a page listing some of Kyron's favorite things also.
http://www.bringkyronhome.org/
